“An overseer, therefore, must be… the husband of one wife.” (1 Timothy 3:2)
What does it mean to be a husband of one wife or a one woman man?
Several suggestions have been put forward.
The third suggestion, one woman kind of man, seems to be best the interpretation.
Why?
Firstly, because it is not a requirement that an elder must be married, even if this is the norm.
Secondly, widowers aren’t excluded if they remarry.
Thirdly, under certain circumstances it is possible for a divorcee to serve as an elder.
The qualification that an elder must be the husband of one wife comes straight after being above reproach and heads up the list of ways an elder shows they are above reproach.
There are good reasons why that is. One is that it is an area that leaders are prone to fall in. The other is that in Roman society then (gross sexual sin, divorce, adultery, and homosexuality being common) and UK society today (with widespread divorce, acceptance of homosexuality, availability of and addiction to porn) being a one woman man is not taken seriously.
Physically faithful. They are actually physically affectionate towards their wife and not physically involved with another.
Emotionally faithful. They do not become emotionally attached to another woman. Signs of emotional infidelity include frequent contact (at a questionable hour), frequent sharing (confiding in them more than their wife), frequent thinking about them, secrecy, and give less time to their wife.
Emotional unfaithfulness, though not physical, is disqualifying.
Elder, would your wife say you are qualified to be an elder? Would she say you are both physically faithful and emotionally faithful to her?
They battle lust and have nothing to do with pornography and practicing sexual immorality (heterosexual or homosexual).